I meant to write this on July 17th, as that is my wedding anniversary. It has been an amazing journey of five years married to John, and we have been together ten. One thing I feel so strongly about, and always will, is that man can never stop God’s plan and God’s works will never be undone. I believe with all my heart, God gave me John.

As we all can be with God’s plans for us, I was impatient. Especially at the time I was not saved by the grace of God. Lost and impatient. To say the least, that time in my life was very frustrating. To be honest, around this time in my early twenties, I was ready to find a man to put it simply. I never really cared for dating in school, I wasn’t in a rush to share my time with someone. But as I got older, I wanted companionship; Someone to be excited to see, to love, share treasured moments with.

There were five men before John that I thought about picking. The shortest one lasted a day, the longest, maybe a week? I was very selective and I knew what I wanted. I wasn’t going to waste my time with something I could see lasting forever. I know most people have that ideal in mind, someone they want to spend forever with and I would say unfortunately a lot they don’t get to have that.

Now, going back to my impatience. I was ready to start finding a man on my own. The first one was in college. I guess we might have had soft eyes on each other for a little bit, but it only took two meetings and an awkward phone call to see he wasn’t the one. This one was a funny one. He was around my age, and for a test, we went to a theme park with my younger cousin. Firstly, he had a hard time keeping up with me. If you know me, I can be a bit energetic to put it mildly. Secondly, as you can imagine, in the middle of summer, in the middle of a crowd at a theme park, it was extremely hot. At that time, I would not consider myself a clingy person. This man, who was a little taller than me, wanted to hold onto me in this heat.

“If you don’t get off me, I will hit you in front of all these people.” I told him.

He backed off a little and crossed him arms. “I don’t think you’d do that.”

My cousin, watching the whole thing almost busted out laughing and said, “Do you know who you’re dating?”

Needless to say, he didn’t hang onto me anymore while we were there. He called me the following weekend and his parents were out of town. Now, most young adults would be excited about this, planning parties or mischief while their parents are gone, but not this guy. He called me crying. Now, I was pretty close to my momma, but if I had a weakened to myself I wouldn’t be sad about it. Long story short, I had to gently give him another reason to cry that weekend and told him I was breaking up with him.

The second one, the one day guy, was actually the brother of someone I went to high school with. We had connected online talking and he wanted to come over to my house to hang out. I thought ‘ok’, his brother was really nice that I could remember, so maybe he is too. He was a few years older than I was. His mom dropped him off at my house, I guess that should have been sign number one that he didn’t have a car. He come in and it was awkward to say the least. We hung out in the living room of my house and then he wanted to see my bedroom. I think I know where this is going. Anyways, we went upstairs to my room and sat on my couch where the TV was. Funny thing, my dog Zoey who was a boxer/lab, come and sit between us on the couch. It was apparent he was there for one thing. After a moment we went back downstairs and I told him,

“I think it’s time for you to leave.” I think I was more embarrassed for him than myself. He said ‘ok’ and then proceeded to text his mom to come and get him. I told him he could wait on the front porch for his mom to come and get him. I wasn’t about to go down any road with him or let him think for a moment he had a chance.

Number three was sweet and had money, but was extremely boring. I was a cashier at Walmart for my first job during college, and this man came through my line asking for my number. He took me to a nice restaurant in his tiny BMW sports car. I guess his parents owned a lot of land and they were very well off. He was a bit off, but that didn’t bother me too much. On the downside, he would want to call me ALL the time. Also, if you know me, I do not like to talk on the phone. I call for a purpose and that’s it. No idle talk. He would call me, and I guess his profession was in aircraft mechanics. He sounded really smart, but I wasn’t going to listen to calculations for hours at a time. Again, I had to let him down gently.

The fourth and fifth were sweet, but both of them had kids. Kids was something that I didn’t want. I have never had a desire to have children. After raising three of my cousins from practically birth, I didn’t want children. Those two lasted one date and talking off and on at Walmart but that was it.

My friend who also worked at Walmart tried to see if her son and me could be matched up. Again, the theme park test, and he failed. He was the quietest man I’ve ever known.

By this time, I had about given up. I had tried to search over the couple of months for a man that met the checklist of my heart and I wasn’t finding him. I remember telling my momma,

“I give up, if whatever happens, happens, but I’m not gonna look anymore.”

I remember her telling me to be patient, that God would put the right person in my life in His time.

She was right.

It wasn’t long after I had stopped trying that God sent me John. I think he was waiting for me to finish trying my plan so he could proceed with his.

John was my friend’s brother and they were going on vacation to the beach that year. John and his mother came through my line at Walmart to say hello and to meet me as my friend had told them all about me. To be honest, I didn’t ‘see’ love at first sight, as people say, I was just meeting my friend’s family. They went to the beach and as my friend was texting me, John got her phone and was texting me funny stuff as if it were her. From that moment, we started to text, me and him. The rest is history.

When John came into my life, I had never known the love that a man could give a woman. When he came into my life, I didn’t know how to trust someone, I didn’t know how to be happy with someone. John told me once, when he first met me, he noticed my smile. He then thought, people that smiled the most usually had a lot of hurt.

Oh how that couldn’t be more true of me.

Our first date was actually to go to church. How cool is that? I was funny though, because the church we had went to was not a good church, though I was blind to this because I didn’t know what a ‘good’ church was. A ‘good’ church is one that is sound in doctrine, and where the preacher teaches the true word of God. I had not been to church a lot, though my momma pressed me to go several times, I didn’t want to at the time. I seen it as I didn’t want to be forced to go to church. John had told me that his father was a preacher and that he was saved.

I believe John prayed and planted seeds that lead me to salvation with all my heart. God knew that I would need a strong, loving, caring, great man of God in my life. One that would calm my storms, calm every ounce of my worry with words of ‘everything is gonna be okay’.

I’m not sure where the thought of wanting to go on a first date to church came from, but I feel like God was starting to work on me for a final time. After church he took me to a nice restaurant. I remember ordering a steak, and forgetting how to cut it. I don’t know if I was nervous or it had been a while since I had a steak, but I spend a good solid second trying to figure out how to old my silverware to cut it.

Then the next time we went out, instead of a theme park, I took him to the mountains. I guess subconsciously I wanted to make sure they could handle my limitless energy. Long story short, he passed and it was a great day together.

Later on at the house one day, he said ‘I love you’ first, I think I said, ‘that’s nice’. I was afraid. I had never been in a moment like this in my life. However, not long after that, something told me this was the one. I would later tell him ‘I loved him too’.

John told me, when we got married, we held hands in a circle. Of course God is in the circle, but that it’s just me and him. No one else comes above one another or can break our circle that God has created.

We found an old anniversary card that was given to his parents and it says,

‘Marriage takes three. I once thought marriage took just two to make a go, but now I am convinced it takes the Lord also. And not one marriage fails where Christ is asked to enter, as lovers come together with Jesus at the center. But marriage seldom thrives and homes are incomplete until He’s welcomed there to help avoid defeat. In homes where Christ is first, it’s obvious to see, those unions really work, for marriage still takes three.’

I hope those who seek love with someone ask for God’s will for you. From my experience, God’s plan is greater than anything we could think of or try to imagine. And I hope you will have patience with God’s timing, not ours.

When I think back to my searching, I thought I knew what I wanted. God knew what I needed.

Matthew 19:4-6 KJV “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”