The word for the year in our church is Grace.

When I first began to study this word, I came upon it like as to a tall brick wall. As someone who lived in the desert all their life, then one day stood before the ocean. Why was this so hard for me to grasp? So hard to try and take in?

Then I realized, as our pastor spoke of not only receiving the grace of God, but giving grace. Giving grace.

That I understand.

Giving grace, the unmerited favor, to someone that doesn’t deserve it. I have done that all my life. Being the bigger person. I have done that all my life, that when I thought of grace being gifted to me, I couldn’t quiet understand, as if I thought that was something I should only give and not be able to receive.

Sometimes I wonder what makes us farther away from God, people or ourselves. Lately it’s people, triggering myself, that is pushing me away from God. When people make jabs or pry, anger starts inside, thus, drifting from God. As carnal beings, we are naturally social creatures, even for us that wish to be hermits, we can’t help but to feel a wanting for social relationships. In the end though, our focus needs to be on God alone, and we need to push our carnal wants and thoughts aside.

This song, Satisfied in You (Psalm 42), speaks to me. The title of this psalm in the bible is Zeal of David to serve God. Zeal is a passionate pursuit. Eagerness desire to obtain something; enthusiastic.

When I first started to study this psalm, I found my depressed soul radiating to the words, but it’s not meant to be depressing. It’s supposed to be enthusiastic, in that, remembering God’s grace, through our tears in abandonment and through words said by people that cut us, we find satisfaction in God’s Grace.

God is the health of our character/emotion, his presence is within us that have been saved. And I thank him for that.