Hi yall, it’s been a while since I have written. Life gets busy and unfortunately, we forget or leave things for a while. But I wanted to share this with you this morning.

A big change is coming for my life, and it’s something I thought I’d never do or ever would have to face. For me, this is the hardest things I’ve had to do so far in my life. With that, some people may laugh or not agree, but it is to me.

First, I want to talk about obedience to God. The first time I heard God’s voice to me, was when he told me I was done getting tattoos. (Besides hearing Jesus’ voice when I was saved) At this time, I wasn’t much into the word, or having the desire to learn more of Gods word, and I don’t think I was steady in church at that time. But I wanted to finish the wrapping of this sleeve tattoo on my right arm and I was trying to argue or make excuses for something I wanted to do when God told me no.

I started to get an off feeling about it, as if something was telling me no. So I put my appointment off. Three times. Still debating, and every time I felt worse, felt something in my heart telling me, warning me. One day, working as a chef, I burnt my arm badly on large restaurant oven door. I’ve handled sharp knives, never cut myself, small burns on my hands before, grabbing a cast iron with bare hands from the oven (forgot the mit) but never this bad. I remember thinking, crap (nicer version), this one is BAD. It was about the size of my fist in diameter.

At that point, I heard God tell me, ‘You’re done‘. Very sternly. I had heard people say God spoke to them, etc., and always pondered that. But this time, I heard God speak to me. I know his voice. I feel like, he let’s me get the ones I have, enough to be able to witness to people with them, which I have, but then when I wanted more for my own reason, he said No. Sometimes when people ask me if I am going to get any more, or ask me questions about them, I tell them the story. And it may sound silly, when I say, God said ‘You’re Done‘ but that’s the truth. I don’t see the burn as a punishment for God, but just as another opportunity to speak about him, and how I hear him, and how someone else can hear him too.

I’m thankful to hear God’s voice. I have been criticized in the past. God wouldn’t tell you that. Or God wouldn’t say that. That’s not God, that’s Satan. I know my Lord’s voice. And I’m learning to listen to him on the first time. (Trying to. Cause I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed and I’m a simple minded blonde. But thankfully God knows that.) The first picture is when I initially got the tattoo done, the middle picture is after the burn, just a large scorched area (nice picture before the blistering and scabbing) and the final picture shows the scaring on the crown of thorns. I thought God’s placement was pretty perfect too, thought His plans always are perfect.

I say all that, to say, this time I am following God’s voice the first time he tells me something. This week, Tuesday, I was studying my bible in Exodus. I was studying Moses and the Egyptians (yes, Egyptians, not Moses’ people) leaving and parting through the red sea. Exodus 12: 38. Well, for both groups of people, Egypt was all they ever knew. For the Egyptians, I’m sure they had it great there, verses the Israelites in slavery. I thought about myself in my church. The bible doesn’t say, but I’d say, being in comfort, the Egyptians didn’t want to leave their home. Growing up in my home church spiritually, I don’t want to leave.

But I believe the fear of God came upon those Egyptians that left. They saw the great wonders, just as the Israelites saw, and they were afraid. I’m not afraid of anything on this earth, any nature thing that could happen to me, and you can ask the people in my life and they would say the same. But I do fear the consequences of God.

I wonder, as we do not know the future, neither did the Egyptians know. For the ones that left, I wonder if they felt like something bad was gonna happen if they stayed. Maybe if they stayed, they might have been ones that were drowned in the red sea chasing Moses under Pharos’ orders. I wonder if God had that in their heart, that they believed on him, to listen and follow Moses who spoke God’s words.

When they left, I’m sure it wasn’t easy. However, as may people so falsely believe that being a Christian is easy, it’s not. Getting saved is the easy part, but after that, it’s a constant war. A constant, war. Following God’s will is hard, especially because we are human, and we want, what we want. But you have to give it to God, and try to be the best Christ-like we can be. As Christ prayed, if this can pass over me, not my will, but the father’s be done, (Matthew 26:39)

Even Christ, felt the agony in being God’s will. Not agony to obey him, but for what he would have to go through, as human nature, not wanting certian things to pass.

But we must be strong in God’s will, because as with Christ, the reward for obedience is greater than trying to carry out plans of our wants.

God spoke to me and put the thought in my mind, do you love this church more or do you love me more?

That broke me. Absolutely broke me down into nothnig.

I cried and prayed, and cried some more. Of course I love God more than anything on this earth. He spoke to me, ‘Time to Move.‘

I heard his voice so clear in my heart, as if he was standing over me, putting his hand on my shoulder, and with great compassion, he spoke to me.

‘Time to Move’.

I went to my closet and I fell down with my face to the floor, sobbing in the surrender to God. I cried aloud with such a broken heart that no one will ever understand. I surrendered my actions and thoughts to God. Everything I had, but most importantly every ounce of love that I have, I cried to him. I would follow His words, and TRUST with all I had, in His plan. I would follow the first time he told me, and not fight or try to delay his instruction.

With following God’s will, and truly surrendering to it, the Joy that he places in your heart is His smile, and proudness of your obedience. Satan can’t put joy in your heart like God can.

Though Satan will try to put thoughts in your mind to go back on God’s commandment, I know his voice too, better now. And I found myself asking God, why right now? There are so many other big things going on, there are so many things the church is needing and the people inside are needing. I started to ask God if I could stay a little longer, trying to make excuses why I need to stay. I can think of a thousand reasons to stay, and if it was my will, I would fight to stay.

But in doing that, I felt fear. I felt that deep fear of God’s waring.

‘The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom:’ Proverbs 9:10

The strongest person cannot stand up to the fear of God if you are trying with all you have to stay in His will.

With God’s help, He keeps His will in my center vision, dismissing the thoughts and people’s words. He give me comfort.

I will fly like an Eagle, and soaring in HIS will. As the wind wraps around my wings and covers me, something that I cannot see, but the Holy Spirit inside me feels, I will fly to wherever he leads me. I don’t know where I will go, but I will Trust in Him that leads me.

Please keep me in prayers, as I don’t know where I’m going. And please keep the church in prayers as I leave. I love my heart church, always will, and I have nothing bad to say about it or anyone in it. I hold great and fun memories in my heart. Pray that satan does not put things in their minds, and that they ALSO trust in the Lord of the words I’ve spoken. And if satan put false opinions, judgements, accusations, all kinds of things in their minds, that they rebuke him, and the Lord comfort their heart, and can have joy in one of God’s children following his will. Amen.